Can you help with some ideas?

well i would say if she is in grade school and not cleaning her room even with the guidence of you in there with her i would get a trash bag and clean her room for her weather you throw her things away or just put them away for awhile it might work its what iv had to do the bedroom situation she might have seperation anxiaty i also had that problem with my son and for you i would suggeust on making amomment for you it could be a book bubble bath t.v just somethin that can distract your mind so it can rest from reality so to say i hope could be of some help good luck